10 January 2009

I See a 6 Percent Commission in Your Future...

Okay, world's worst marketing ploy ever:

I opened up our mailbox earlier this week, and there sat a little box.  A present?  For me?  But then, I flipped it over to see who it was from, and it was from Stupid Local Realtor (not the actual name, but it might as well have been).  So I opened it with mild curiosity only to discover...a fortune cookie.  Really, Stupid Local Realtor?  Really??  This struck me as dumb for so very many reasons--

reason (a.) Fortune cookies immediately make me think of leaving things to chance or luck.  Is that really the message you want to send a potential client?  "Hey, list your house with us and you might get lucky and sell it!"
reason (b.) Bill and I just moved into our house a year and a half ago.  What possible database of potential buyers or sellers could we be in?
reason (c.) The postage alone on the thing was $1.54.  The message inside the cookie (which was something stupid like, "See good fortune in your future by calling www dot StupidLocalRealtor dot com") was customized, not to mention the packaging and man hours to send it.  Each little cookie had to represent something like $3-$4 when all was said and done.  Again...really, Stupid Local Realtor?  Really??
reason (d.)  I do not eat unsolicited food that I receive in the mail.  Not that I've received much or any unsolicited food in the mail (unless you want to count the pickle slice stunt that my friend Clayton pulled in college when he was running for Student Body President).


Okay, I'm done ranting.  Except for one completely unrelated rant...my hair is falling out.  I guess it's just the post-partum hormone plunge, but seriously, I'm shedding like a lap dog.

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