It Ain't Me, Babe

I was going to write all about stress and boundaries, but I think Johnny Cash summed it up a bit better:

Go away from my window.
Leave at your own chosen speed.
I'm not the one you want, babe.
I'm not the one you need.

You say you're looking for someone
Who's never weak, but always strong
To protect you and defend you
Whether you are right or wrong.
Someone to open each and every door...

But it ain't me, babe, no, no, no
It ain't me, babe, it ain't me you're looking for
Babe.

Go lightly from the ledge, babe,
Go lightly on the ground.
I'm not the one you want, babe,
I'll only let you down.

You say you're looking for someone
Who'll promise never to part.
Someone who'll close his eyes to you
Someone who'll close his heart.
Someone to die for you and more...

But it ain't me, babe, no, no, no
It ain't me, babe, it ain't me you're looking for
Babe.

You say you're looking for someone
To pick you up each time you fall
To gather flowers constantly
And to come each time you call.
And to love you for your life and nothin' more...

But it ain't me, babe, no, no, no
It ain't me, babe, it ain't me you're looking for

Babe.

World's Worst Wife

I forgot my husband's birthday.

I remembered it up to the day, but the day of his actual birthday, we were both working 16 hours and focused on a huge event the next day, and then, at 11:30 that night, I was lying in bed, waiting for him to get ready, and he said something about it being a sucky birthday.

I sat bolt upright, started bawling, and said, "Happy Birthday" between sobs (As I'd been crying all day getting things together for the event, it wasn't actually that dramatic...it was more like I just resumed crying.)

To my defense, he had forgotten it was his own birthday until mid-afternoon but still...

I also came to the difficult decision that something's gotta give. I enjoy being a part of helping other people build their families through adoption, but the job's not worth it if it's going to have this negative impact on me and my own family.

So here I sit, looking at the birthday card that his nephew sent him. It has a frog on the front and a crayon picture of some random lines inside with the caption, "Happy Birthday Uncle Billy Marching Happy Dance" written out by Bill's sister. And I'm just thankful for something that will get me to smile.

Library

Well, it may mean that I am immature or infantile, but my favorite section of the library is the children's section. I always feel so judged and looked-down-upon in the adult section. I only check out fluffy chick-lit, and the reference desk staff always looks down their nose at me when I do.

But, oh, the children's section! I was going specifically to check out Anne of Avonlea and Anne of the Island (my life has been pretty cheerless as of late, and sometimes, when I'm in the "depths of despair", only Anne will help).

It was so nice to not feel judged. Granted, I was 3 times the size of any other person in that section, but they didn't care. They all just looked up from their books and smiled and went straight back to reading. They didn't try to peer at the title or the thickness of the book. No! They were just glad that they got their hands on "Olivia" before I did.

Fat Dog in a Little Boat

Well, Sunny has gone on his first official kayak ride. It was quite the sight to behold. He did fairly well...much better than I was expecting and braced for. Bill paddled him around the cove. And you will note as our realtor did upon first meeting him, "Well, there's a dog that hasn't missed a meal." Unfortunately, I am a bad doggy-mother, and he has missed many a walk. You will also note that he doesn't make eye contact with the camera. The vast majority of pictures that I have of him are either of him looking away from the camera or of his heiny.

Riverboat Queen

Bill and I both took yesterday off and took advantage of the beautiful weather to take our two-person kayak for her maiden river voyage. It was beautiful scenery, and there was not another soul on the river, so that was nice. But it wasn't how I envisioned it would be.

When Bill first proposed the "playing hooky" plan (don't get too jealous--we're both working this afternoon), I saw it all in my mind...I would be basking in the warm sun, wearing my little bikini working on my tan. We'd stop every hour or so and eat yummy yet healthy snacks that I'd prepared beforehand and brought along. We'd both take right to paddling and be expert river navigators right off the bat.

The reality:
-The night before, I remembered that I'd left my favorite bathing suit in Florida, and my mother-in-law hasn't sent it back to me yet. So I ended up having to wear my other suit that leaves me a bit nippy unless it's like tropical warm out (which it ended up not being because...)

-Bill decided we needed to leave early to beat the work traffic--big broo-ha-ha in which we were both trying in vain to get the other person to see our side of when we should wake up and leave the house (me--"whenever we wake up", him--"earlier than is natural or normal"). We ended up getting up at 5:00 A!M! and leaving the house at 6:45. (yes, Bill won that one) We did indeed beat the work traffic, but it ended up being a bit chillier than I was planning on. It did finally warm up, though.

-Also due to the aforementioned departure time, those healthy yet yummy snacks ended up being soggy sandwiches and some stale chex mix.

-Steering was pretty much the opposite of intuitive, and we kept flipping the kayak around, and of course, every time we did, in my mind I was thinking, "This is all Bill's fault." And I know that he was thinking the same thing. We finally got more of the hang of it and decided by the end that he would do the paddling in the front and I would just stick to steering in the back so that we didn't end up overcompensating for the current.

It ended up being a fun day, all in all. Bill and I both agree that every couple that is considering marriage should be sent down a river in a tandem kayak and debriefed afterwards. The guy who shuttled our car said that the worst he's seen is a couple that they had to call separate cabs for afterwards. He said that for a first river tandem kayak experience, if the couple is still talking to each other when they reach the pick-up point, they can consider the day a success.

Oh, and I saw a wild turkey for the first time, AND I saw a dog standing on the cab of a truck that was driving down the road. He looked like he was king of the mountain (the dog, not the turkey).

Then, Bill took me out to eat sushi.

All in all, a good day.