12 February 2006

Biger


Creepiness, thou hast a name, and they name is "Biger".

For those of you who I do not frequently chat with in the "real world", Biger is the newest addition to our family. And apparently, he is not actually Biger, but rather Biger II. Biger I was accidentally dropped out of a moving vehicle in Atlanta traffic circa 1980.

No, Biger II is my husband's much-loved (replacement) stuffed tiger from when he was a child. Biger is much like the Velveteen Rabbit only uglier. He has a crooked nose, and one set of his whiskers goes up and the other goes down. Biger came home with us after Christmas along with Bill's other childhood memoribilia (comic books, drum major hat & trumpet, a few books). Bill's mom was loathe to part with Biger as (a) he reminds her of Bill's childhood (back when Bill was "Billy") and (b) I think she wanted to use him to decorate Bill's nephew's room (she calls it the "grandchildren's room" to seem equitable, but there is only one grandchild).

Biger creeps me out. It is partly my own fault. On the drive home from Atlanta after Christmas, to keep myself entertained I gave him a creepy voice and would perch him on Bill's shoulder and say, "Billy, if you love me you'll kill your family and I'll have you all to myself...Billy!" Bill did not especially appreciate me giving his favorite childhood toy a creepy stalker personality.

Then when we got home, Sunny thought Biger was a new toy and I found him happily chewing on one of Biger's legs. Biger now leaves little pellets wherever he goes. And since I turned Biger into a creepy stalker, Bill now has him follow me around the house--sitting on my pillow when I come to bed, hiding in my underwear drawer when I'm getting ready in the morning.

Creepy.

4 comments:

Ellen said...

What happened to that weird towel animal you brought home from your vacation? Couldn't they be friends?

Shelli said...

OH yah...the creepy "snow man" / wash cloth man. What happened to him?

...and Biger is pretty cute. You have to admit. Now, if Bill shows up on Valentines day in a "Biger" costume and tries to take you to his lair...then RUN!!!!!!

Kristi said...

That is hysterical!

Karen said...

oh, sure. he looks cute when he's not lurking underneath your panty pile.