I miss Aruba. Bill and I went there for our honeymoon, and I miss it. I have a mouse pad with a picture of our hotel’s private beach island on it sitting next to my work computer because I thought that it would make me happy to look at it. But it doesn’t. It makes me sad that people are there right now, and I am not one of them.

We also went to Disneyworld on our honeymoon. I’m also sad to not be there, but I know that we’ll be going to Disneyworld at some point in the not-so-distant future. Either with his family to watch the wondrous look on our nephew’s face as he thrills at the Buzz Lightyear ride or with my family to watch the wondrous look on our soon-to-be-born niece’s face as she gazes at the newly refurbished Small World ride. Meanwhile, I will be over at MGM watching the look on my husband’s face as we ride Aerosmith’s Rockin’ Rollercoaster.

Sigh. In reality, I am watching the arrogant smirks on overpriced SUV owners' faces as they drive by through slushy snowflakes and sleet coming out of the sky.

well, my niece is due to pop out of my older sister any day now, and i can officially say that i am getting antsy. i can't imagine how ellen's feeling. it's not like your wedding day where everything goes higgledy-piggledy for 72 hours then returns back to normal (or at least your normal combined with another person's normal) when you get back from the honeymoon. no--childbirth has no honeymoon. it's higgledy-piggledy pain to get her out then no sleep and worry and responsibility for another little person. I should worry that ellen will read this and freak out, but (a) she's not really the freaking out kind and (b) i doubt she has the energy to turn on the computer.

my dog is very upset with me right now. he was chewing on his rawhide really hard and his gums started bleeding, so i took away the rawhide. now, he's giving me the evil eye....and now he's wandered off to get a drink of water. he has the attention span of a 2 year old.

on a completely separate note, it's doubtful if there are any raw foodists reading my blog, but if there happen to be: how the heck do you find time for a raw food lifestyle??? i've started juicing recently, and by the time i clean the fruit, set up the juicer, cut it into juiceable chunks, juice it, clean the juicer, and put it away, that's a good 2 hours. of course, i juice ahead, so i'm usually juicing 5-6 glasses of juice. but still! all the same, that fresh, real juice is so dang addictive.

well, it's official--the sinus problem is officially a great mystery. i went to have a ct scan this week of el sinuses, and here were the findings: perfectly normal. deviated septum and weird air pockets in my nose, but sinuses were clear. but is it normal to know before the local weatherman when a storm is coming because i'm in so much pain 2 days beforehand? no.

but apparently, surgery "may or may not help." the doctor would be willing to do it "if i asked" but would not make the statement that it would help my sinuses. my question: could it help? answer: "maybe. but i'm not making that statement."

stupid malpractice lawsuits.

My, my. So much in my life has changed. Am married. Wonderful man. Drives me crazy sometimes, but just the mere thought of “if something ever happened to him…” leads me to the emotional equivalent of chopping off my right arm with a blunt saw.

I’m so sick of the question, “how do you like married life?” I usually mumble something to the effect of, “very much, thank you.” But in my mind, I secretly wonder, “WHAT am I supposed to say?” I love being married to my husband, but after the person asks, they inevitably keep staring at me until I tell some cute marriage anecdote. And so I’ve stored up a few for staring emergencies:

I love it! The biggest adjustment was the laundry. I had an allergic reaction to his detergent and so we switched to mine.

I love it! Snuggling up at night is the best feeling in the world…then we go to our own bed corners to get some decent sleep.

I love it! I got this great Kitchen-Aid mixer that my sister talked me into registering for at the last minute, but I haven’t even turned it on yet. Don’t tell my cooking friends who would spit on me with jealousy.

The truth? I DO love it. All the above things are true (Bill tried to talk me into buying an Ice-cream maker attachment for said mixer even though it’s never been turned on, and I’ve never made ice cream). But it’s also true that I’m daily struck by how normal everything is. It was just such a natural move to marriage. And at the same time, everything’s just a little bit harder and a little bit easier. I never thought, dating, that Bill and I would stand out in the open garage yelling at each other about carpet. I also never thought, dating, that snuggling on a lazy Saturday morning would be so nice.