Really, New Moon PR People? Really?!?

So my wonderful husband had to run to the store the other night and knowing that I'm secretly a 14 y/o girl an avid reader, he brought me back a copy of this week's Life & Style magazine with this cover (we're each allowed one age-inappropriate celebrity crush, and mine is currently RPattz...his is Emmy Rossum, but he gets extra bonus points for saying it's because she looks like me even though that is not true. At all):

Secretly being a 14 y/o girl Concerned about the cast's emotional welfare, I perused the article. It turns out that the film's publicity coordinator a rogue crew member sent out a press release revealed off-the-record that Edward Robert Pattinson is jealous of Jacob and Bella's whatever actor plays Jacob and Kristen Stewart's burgeoning relationship. And of all the cute new werewolves. And it turns out that when he sweats, it doesn't in fact turn into sparkles but rather b.o. like the rest of us.

So help me, if they send out a press release that my age-inappropriate celebrity crush is in an accident while filming his death-by-sparkle scene and Kristen Stewart has to rush to his side, heads will roll. Roll. Of course, now I've given them the idea.

Bragging on my Hubby

So how wonderful is Bill? I just feel so blessed that God brought us together and blessed by his love for me. A short list of examples from the last few days:

1. He's willing to play Tetris with me even though he knows I'm going to skunk him 9 times out of 10. (We have a pretty strict "no letting the other person win" rule in our household)

2. He encourages me in creative pursuits even though he knows that, as a result, my desk is just going to get messier and messier.

3. He didn't get mad at me this morning when I woke up super-cranky because our jerkwad dog woke the Pea up early by barking...instead...

4. He went and got me Chick-fil-A chicken minis and picked up the Twilight DVD at Target ("Wow...there were a lot of teenage girls there." His only other later comment, after downloading the special online features was, "Please don't make me watch this." And I won't. That's a promise.)


On a side note (when do I ever blog and not have a side note?), this meme is making the rounds, and though he's not quite verbal yet, I thought it would be fun to have a little imaginary conversation with the Pea:

1. What is something mom always says to you?

The Pea: "Are you hungry?"


2. What makes mom happy?

P: Feeding me.


3. What makes mom sad?

P: Going too long without feeding me.


4. How does your mom make you laugh?

P: Pretty much anything that involves me seeing her one minute...and then disappearing...and then reappearing as if by magic!


5. What was your mom like as a child?

P: Right now, she seems to only exist in my presence.


6. How old is your mom?

P: Old enough to make milk, thank goodness.


7. How tall is your mom?

P: About 3 times as tall as me.


8. What is her favorite thing to do?

P: Feed me.


9. What does your mom do when you're not around?

P: Pump so that Daddy can feed me.


10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?

P: Do people become famous for feeding other, smaller people?


11. What is your mom really good at?

P: Producing milk.


12. What is your mom not very good at?

P: Getting me to like green beans


13. What does your mom do for a job?

P: I'm pretty sure it involves milk in some way...perhaps producing it?


14.What is your mom's favorite food?

P: She seems to put a lot of brown, sweet stuff in her mouth that smells like the nectar of the gods. I heard her refer to it as...what was it? Oh, yes, chocolate.


15.What makes you proud of your mom?

P: She's really a champion milk-producer in my opinion.


16. If your mom were a Cartoon character, who would she be?

P: ???
me: Cartoon characters are those thing on the "classical baby" DVD that Aunt Julie and Uncle Mark gave you for Christmas.
P: Okay. The dancing sheep then.


17. What do you and your mom do together?

P: Pretty much everything at this point.


18. How are you and your mom the same?

P: We're both at the top of a bell-shaped distribution of height for our age.
me: You know what a bell-shaped distribution is?
P: Of course. I am a genius.
me: Well, I know, but still...


19. How are you and your mom different?

P: Well, only one of us can produce milk...three guesses as to who and the first two don't count.


20. How do you know your mom loves you?

P: She tells me so. And she produces milk for me.


21. What does your mom like most about your dad?

P: Seeing what a good daddy he is to me.
me: Okay, yes, I do like that a lot.


22. Where does your mom like to go?

P: Bed seems to be a favorite of hers.


23. What does your mom really want?

P: She's got me and Daddy, what more could she ask for?
me: I couldn't agree more.

A Peek Into My Bedtime Routine

Time/Setting--last night, later than I should have been up, bathroom vanity


Me (staring intently in the bathroom mirror at my nose, moving head slowly from side to side): [silence of intense staring]

Bill (walks in, sees me staring intently at my nose): Ummm, hey, what are you doing?

Me: Staring at my nose. Is it sparkling?

Bill (sensing a possible trap): Is it...what?

Me: Sparkling. I think it's sparkling.

Bill (looking intently at my nose): I...yes. Actually, it is.

Me: ???

Bill: I think it's glitter. Were you touching something with glitter today?

Me: ??? no.


Yeah, I've thought it through, and I've got nothing. It did remind me of the time when Bill and I were dating, and I asked him if I had something on my face. Without skipping a beat, he replied, "Only beauty." See, that's why I love my snarky husband. That, and he isn't bothered by my inherent sparkliness.


Oh, ALSO, if this comes to fruition, I won't have words to express my joy. But I will have a dance to express it, and it will be Corky St. Clair's (a dance which my roommate Jenny and I perfected in grad school)...and it will probably involve a stool.

Shark Jumpin' Friday

Okay, this post has been brewin' in the old noggin for quite a while now. I need to address the Twilight shark jump issue. I realize that most of my readers are probably not Twilight fans (and let me clarify that I consider myself a lolfan as, yes, I do recognize the complete and utter WRONGNESS of the whole "high school girl falls for vegetarian, mind-reading, slightly controlling vampire and wants to join his uber-cool family by becoming a vampire herself to the chagrin of her werewolf best friend" plot. But, oh, the sparkling and the fursploding, and yeah, I pretty much think Cleolinda's recaps of the books are as good, nay, better than the actual Twilight series).

Which is why my jaw dropped in horror when I saw that Dakota Fanning is in talks to play a minor (but key) character in the upcoming New Moon movie. All I can do is just shake my head and say, "no, no, no." I don't know what it is that irks me about that chick, but I just don't like her acting. I guess that I'm just bothered by all those child actors that are 12 going on 27. And I always cringe when the younger sibling gets in on the game because that just seems like a huge red flag that mommy and daddy are obsessed with fame.

But it got me thinking about the EW review of Breaking Dawn (the final book). ***spoiler alert if you haven't read it yet and think you may at some point*** The reviewer wrote the following..."And it's when Bella, suffering from morning sickness and gestating a vampire, starts vomiting 'a fountain' of blood, that Meyer jumps the shark." Really, EW reviewer? Really?? Not when the teenage girl fell for the sparkly, gorgeous, mind-reading, controlling, vegetarian vampire much to the chagrin of her hunky, brooding, equally controlling werewolf best friend? Because women actually do vomit in labor. But I don't know any who are in love with vampires.

It just really reminded me of the time in college when I was watching "Face/Off" with a group of friends (a movie about people removing and switching their faces and bodies), and during a scene at the end, one of them falls off the side of a boat, grabs a chain hanging off said boat and starts to barefoot waterski alongside the boat. My friend Chris scoffed and said, "Now THAT couldn't happen". Body switching? Sure! Barefoot waterskiing? NEVER!

Shark Jumpin' Friday

Okay, I'm all for treating animals ethically and with respect, but, PETA, I am putting you on notice. You have officially jumped the shark. Oh, I'm sorry. I mean, you have officially jumped the furious sea kitten.

On a not-completely-unrelated side note, I've finally found my fish. I kept trying to make myself like tilapia (plech) and salmon (ehh). MAHI MAHI!! I love you, mahi mahi.

A Bed, A Bed, My Kingdom For A Bed!

Seriously...I need some sleep. And I can't even blame it on the Pea. He's sleeping through (most of) the night. But then again, he also spends about half of his waking hours eating. And he's decided that he doesn't nap for more than 30 minutes at a time...most likely a sleep regression. So post-7:00 p.m. is the only time I have to focus on activities/chores that take longer than 20-30 minutes (i.e. everything but dishes or laundry). Well, and I've figured out how to feed him and e-mail at the same time. It's not pretty, and he gets distracted laughing at the computer screen, but it gets the job done.

But, nay, I'm not getting good sleep. I've gotten to sleep at 11:30 or midnight (shudder) for the last 3 nights. Still, I'll take this over getting up with him at midnight for the first time of the night any day.


Oh, and super shout-out to my little sister who is now a card-carrying genuine Twilight lolfan (and also, secretly, a 14 year-old girl)





And, ehh, a Pea webcam shot just because I like you and he's so cute:

"Deranged" is in the Eye of the Beholder

So how much do I love these dueling celebrity mag sidebars? So fascinating from a psychological point-of-view. (Let me first say that the mags--Life & Style and In Touch Weekly--were found laying in the airport by my hubby, which says something about my secret shame of loving them that I touched and read them during cold & flu season.)

Also, I should add that I'm a Twilight fan (and secretly a 14 y/o girl).

Anyhoo!

It's the SAME picture. But I find it impossible to look at each picture without thinking, "Why, yes, he does look deranged," and "Hmmmm...yes, he is a sexy man." But if you cover up the captions, suddenly, he just looks bemused. And perhaps a little scared. Seriously, anyone who compares the screams of teenage girls to the "sound you hear at the gates of hell" is cool in my book.

And apparently, Angelina Jolie is pregnant again, officially making her the most fertile woman I've heard of in both the biobaby and adoption world.